Soul-Destroying Behaviors

Soul-Destroying Behaviors

     The car spun around and was broadsided by an 18 wheeler.  The impact knocked Kirk from the car and careened his head onto the concrete road.

     Kirk was life-flighted to a trauma center.  It was a full day before I finally got in to Intensive Care to pray with him.  As I stood, all alone, next to this young man that I loved so much, I saw something so horrid as to be almost indescribable.  His head was so badly hurt the side of his skull looked like a thick braided rope and was badly swollen.

     I was not able to pray with him.  So I prayed for him.  But the prayers of a million voices would not save him that night.  He got to meet the Lord of his life before the sun rose again.

     When his parents learned he was gone they grieved that grief that only a parent knows when you have to bury your child... wasted... before his time.  Yet there was such a difference in their grief.  They knew he was a Christian and they said, like King David had when his little boy died, "But why should I fast when he is dead?  Can I bring him back again?  I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”  (2 Samuel 12:23, TLB)

     But there's more to the story.  Much, much more.  But that's all anyone had been told including the police officers who called for the life-flight.  Including his parents.  Including the church members.  But I didn't learn it until the evening before Kirk's memorial service.  His wife asked to meet at a coffee shop.  I supposed she wanted to discuss the service and maybe get some counseling.

     Over the next hour she unloaded... maybe confessed is more accurate.  Kirk had worked a double shift and was hungry, stressed and exhausted.  But for Kathy he needed to do just one more thing before his day was done.  "Couldn't it wait until tomorrow?" he asked.  "Oh please... I'll make it up to you," she begged.  "After all we can get back in an hour or so."

     So they hit the rush-hour freeway and began weaving in and out of lanes.  Kirk sighed a couple of times, but Kathy kept repeating, "Thank you so much.  You know how much I need this."  Kirk had wanted her to quit for so long but had given up trying to reason with her.  She had cleaned up enough that the State finally had promised to give their two daughters back in a week or so.

     When they pulled up to the curb she dashed to the door and gave the coded knock.  The door opened slightly, hands touched hands, a day's wages went poof.  She had her baggie.

     Back up the freeway they went and she just couldn't wait but as she opened the bag she fumbled it and dropped it next to the gas pedal.  She lunged for it and bumped his leg. H e looked down and tried to correct but it was too late.

     And that's when what everyone had been told happened:

     "The car spun around and was broadsided by an 18 wheeler.  The impact knocked Kirk from the car and careened his head onto the concrete road."

     I went through the Memorial Service with an overly burdened soul.  Two days after the service she asked if she could borrow a few bucks.  As I reached for my wallet she stuttered and stammered ... "Would you be able to drive?"

     I couldn't believe my ears.  Her craving had precipitated her husband's death.  And then she wanted me to transport her to her dealer.

     I did not drive her anywhere.  She was a full-blown addict who had never truly quit.  Though she had attended church with Kirk her mind was so fixed on having her baggie she never became a Christian.  Worse than that, she never got her girls back as the State found her high on the scheduled day.  But that was probably for the best as Kirk's awesome Mom became the darling girls' mother.

     Kathy is now in the wind.

     Addicts, whether drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc., often are not successful at giving it up.  Most counselors choose not to try working with them one-to-one but refer addicts to 12-step programs instead.  It is hoped that the addicts that really mean business will bond with a "sponsor" in that group and two are stronger than one.

     Over four decades of counseling individuals with all types of undesirable behaviors I learned that God's Word has the best plan for freeing addicts from their soul-destroying behaviors.  The Creator does not want any person to be sold hook, line and sinker, to any sin.

     If you struggle with any addiction please carefully and prayerfully read these words from the Holy Spirit:

     "Have you forgotten that your body is now the sacred temple of the Spirit of Holiness, who lives in you? You don’t belong to yourself any longer, for the gift of God, the Holy Spirit, lives inside your sanctuary. You were God’s expensive purchase, paid for with tears of blood, so by all means, then, use your body to bring glory to God!"  (! Corinthians 6:19-20, TPT) 

     "We all experience times of testing, which is normal for every human being. But God will be faithful to you. He will screen and filter the severity, nature, and timing of every test or trial you face so that you can bear it. And each test is an opportunity to trust him more, for along with every trial God has provided for you a way of escape that will bring you out of it victoriously." (1 Corinthians 10:13, TPT)
 
     CAUTION:  Let's divide up into two camps.  

One Camp is addicts who want to be successful in stopping their addiction and becoming full-fledged Christians who want to bring God glory in their body.  

The second camp is Christians who are not addicted and unsure how to deal with addicts who are professing Christians. 

Camp Addict needs to be truthful and be serious about winning the battle.  

Camp Two needs to guard against blistering abusive lectures that often drives the addict away.

     Think about the Prodigal Son story Jesus told.  Who did wrong in that story?  Certainly the prodigal son.  Did the Father?  No, you say.  He was loving, caring and receptive.  How about the older son?  Was he right or wrong?  Watch out with your answer.  Jesus didn't just accidentally mention an older brother.  He was teaching everyone several lessons.

     Sometimes Christians preach when maybe they should hug.  Sometimes Christians disown when they should reach out.

     When Elsie told me how she was able to break her nicotine addiction I was astounded and found her words almost impossible to believe.  But if you knew Elsie you knew she was as serious as a heart attack.  Elsie said, "I just could not give them up.  I confessed it to my minister, Don Hill."  

     She continued.  Don said, "Elsie, if you are truthful with me I will make you a promise. Whenever you have the urge, day or night, phone me and I will come over and pray with you."

     She concluded, "I had the temptation for quite a while and Don kept his word each and every time.  Finally I was freed and thanked the Lord for His strength and for having Don in my life."  I knew Elsie for many years after that and she never returned to her addiction.

     Camp two Christians, do you love your Christian addict brother/sister enough to make that promise with them?  Hmm! Think about it before you answer.

     CONSIDER:  An improved approach to stopping your addiction and or to helping your addicted brethren.  The chart below is the method the Lord had me show addicts.  It worked in many cases because it is the Holy Spirit's plan ... not mine.

     The Apostle Paul explains this Pendulum:  "Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need." (Ephesians 4:28, NIV)
 
     Paul gives these 3 steps (pendulum positions) - showing what is wrong, stopping it and making a positive correction: (1) What was the wrong behavior? (Stealing)  (2) Needed action? (Stop Stealing)  (3) How do I make this change a lasting one? (Work and earn enough so you can give to those in need).

     In the chart above you'll see the three stages of several common areas that many people need to change.

     Do you swear?  Stop.  How do you change the behavior?  Praise instead.

     Do you criticize?  Stop.  How do you change the behavior?  Speak encouragement.

     And concerning addicts.  They need to stop the addictive behavior.  But don't quit there.  Get rid of your likely victim mentality and become a supporter of others who are struggling to overcome whatever their addiction is.

     One of the coolest reality check Scriptures is:

     "Don’t be misled; remember that you can’t ignore God and get away with it: a man will always reap just the kind of crop he sows!  If he sows to please his own wrong desires, he will be planting seeds of evil and he will surely reap a harvest of spiritual decay and death; but if he plants the good things of the Spirit, he will reap the everlasting life that the Holy Spirit gives him.  

And let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up.  That’s why whenever we can we should always be kind to everyone, and especially to our Christian brothers."  (Galatians 6:7-10, TLB)
 
     And each of us knows that if a farmer plants fifty pounds of corn seed he plans to reap a zillion pounds of corn.  So what we sow we'll reap plus the crop growth.  

     Whatever your challenge.  Whatever your struggle.  Whatever your need.  Keep fighting against sin.  After all, God says He won't allow anyone or anything to condemn you.  Not addiction. Not the Devil.  "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us," (Romans 8:37, NIV)

 
     The Lord Jesus prays to the Father for you: "Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them." (Hebrews 7:25, NIV)

     So as you ponder what to do and consider everything and everyone you'll impact remember, "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to get what he cannot lose."

And He's Ever Interceding

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